About Stuart

Family & Divorce Mediator serving the Portland Oregon Region

What is Progressive Mediation?

Supporting people in making progress in their relationships and lives.

I define progress as:
  1. Increasing understanding of yourself and others by clarifying the positions, personal values and goals of the issues you are discussing.
  2. Identifying and negotiating concrete next steps and actions that serve the needs of all parties involved.
  3. Developing written agreements that confirm mutual decisions, each person's tasks and committments, and future conflict resolution processes.

Learn about Stuart's experience in the following areas:

Mediation Experience  |  Marriage & Family Counseling  |  Nonviolent Communication  |  Personal

Mediation Experience

  • 18 yrs. experience as a Family and Divorce Mediator with Progressive Mediation, mediating over 500 Divorce cases
  • 14 yrs. as Mediation Program Coordinator at Resolutions Northwest, mediating hundreds of cases per year and helping develop "Equity-Informed Mediation"
  • 1.5 yrs. as Family Mediator with Lane County Courts, Mediating 170 Divorce/Custody cases
  • 25 years designing and facilitating Conflict Resolution trainings
  • 4 years as a Mediator with The Citizen-Police Mediation Program of the Independent Police Review Division
  • 5 years as a Mediator with the Oregon Foreclosure Avoidance Mediation Program
  • Author of Relationship Help Toolkit for resolving and transforming conflict: "The Relationship Repair Game".

Mediation Training

600 hr.  I was the Lead Trainer for fifteen 20-40 hour Mediation Training courses with Resolutions Northwest, Portland, OR
570 hr.  Training with Certified CNVC Trainers, including Marshall Rosenberg, Inbal and Miki Kashtan, Lucy Leu, Robert Gonzales, Susan Skye, Doug Dolstad
200 hr.  Mediation Internship with Family and Divorce Mediator, Linda Scher, Portland, OR
200 hr.  Coordinated/participated in five 40-hour Basic Mediation Trainings with Christopher Sheesley, Portland, OR
100 hr.  Multiple Topic Trainings including: Financial Planning for Divorce, Tax Implications of Divorce, Same-Sex Marriage Rights, Parent Move-aways, Parenting during Family Transition, Financial Support for Child Attending School, Overcoming Blocks in Negotiation, Mediating Across Cultural Differences, Racism and Mediation, Advanced Mediation, Family Law CLE, Oregon State Bar
52 hr.  NVC Mediation Training with John Kinyon
50 hr.  Meditation Training with Community Mediation, City of Vancouver, WA
40 hr.  Family and Divorce Mediation Training with Robert Benjamin, Portland, OR
24 hr.  Community Conflict Transformation Training with Ploughshares Institute
24 hr.  Oregon Foreclosure Avoidance Mediation Training with The Collins Center/DOJ, Portland, OR
20 hr.  Compassionate Mediation Training with Center for Nonviolent Communication
20 hr.  Community Conferencing Facilitator Training
20 hr.  Stellar Facilitation Skills for 3rd Parties with Christopher Sheesley, Portland, OR

Financial Analysis Training

  • Bachelor Degree of Financial Management and Business Administration from the University of Missouri.
  • Master Degree in Public Administration, Finance and Accounting from San Diego State University.

Affiliations & Accreditations

  • Certified Advanced Practitioner, Academy of Professional Family Mediators
  • Advanced Divorce Mediator Practitioner,
  • Certified Mediator, Washington Mediation Association: Domestic Relations, Intercultural Relations, & Organizational Relations
  • Certified Mediation Practitioner, Community Mediation Services, Vancouver, WA
  • Member, Washington Mediation Association
  • Senior Mediator, Oregon Mediation Association
  • Mediator Development Mentor, Resolutions Northwest
  • Listed Divorce Specialist on Divorce Source, YELP, and Google
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Marriage & Family Counseling

  • Graduate Certificate in Couples, Marriage, and Family Counseling from Portland State University. Program course work includes:
    • Marriage and family counseling theory and models
    • Interpersonal neurobiology of conflict and hope
    • Child psychology and development
    • Family life cycle and transitions
    • Developing family treatment plans
    • Advanced treatment interventions
    • Sexuality and sexual dysfunctions
  • Training and experience with the use of the following treatment models:
    • Imago Therapy, which suggests that we unconsciously choose our "difficult" partners in order to heal childhood wounds. The counselor trains the couple in communication and empathy to provide that healing and growing for each other.
    • The Couple's Institute, using the Bader and Pearson model which views couples and having a developmental cycle similar to those between child and parent, and that couples need assistance to get unstuck and grow through their development phase.
    • Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, which is based on the idea that our thoughts cause our feelings and behaviors, not external things, like people, situations, and events; Thus, we can change the way we think to feel / act better even if the situation does not change.
    • Emotionally-Focused Therapy, which argues that people can attain their highest potential through emotionally nurturing relationships, so uses emotions and their mutual impacts to establish and re-create supportive bonds among individuals.
    • Schema Therapy, which tracks, categorizes and aims to change patterns of maladaptive beliefs that we develop in childhood and get played out in relationships, family and work. Common schemas include abandonment, defectiveness, mistrust, unrelenting standards, and more.
  • Extensive training in Compassionate Communication, which includes the ability to support people with mental/emotional processes for gaining clarity and empowerment for their own needs, understanding other's needs, negotiation, healing from past hurts, forgiveness and reconciliation.
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Nonviolent Communication

Conflict Resolution and Communication Process developed by Dr. Marshall Rosenberg. For more info, see Oregon Network for Compassionate Communication, and Center for Nonviolent Communication)

Coordinating NVC

  • Founded Portland Area Network for Compassionate Communication and 1st area Practice Group: July, 2001
  • Co-Founded Statewide organization: ORNCC, Septermber, 2002
  • Serving as State Director/Coordinator for ORNCC, 2003 - 2009

Training/Facilitating NVC

  • Practice Groups: Hosted and led four practice groups, each lasting several months.
  • Introductions: Provided approximately 15 introductions to general community, community organizations, groups, and workplaces. Developed and provided an "introduction to practice groups."
  • Trainings: Provided approximately 20 full day trainings to groups within own organization, and with other organizations in the community. Provided a ten-week basic skill training.

Articles on Compassionate Communication written by Stuart

  • Creating Peace Internally and Externally
  • The Spiritual Aspects of Nonviolent Communication
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Personal

  • I have been co-parenting since my daughter was nine months old; her mom and I have some distinctly different parenting and cultural values. I know what it takes to work effectively as a team for the best interest of our daughter, and I know how challenging this can be.
  • I have been a very active, involved single parent for several years, and understand how exhausting and rewarding this can be.
  • I have experience with the complexity and difficulty of forming a blended family, and understand the kind of strength, clarity and patience this requires and the hope and opportunity that is possible.
  • I know how grueling it is to try to make sound decisions about relationships and family when one is hurt, furious, depressed, confused and resigned, AND, I know how incredibly helpful an educated, compassionate and clear outside support person can be at these times.